SPIRITUAL DEPENDENCY
Kriston Couchey
A Spiritual Experience
I was asked by a friend to come to a weekend Christian gathering she and her husband were hosting in Central Minnesota. I was not a speaker at the meetings, but the Lord gave me a word for it. I felt Sunday would be the day to go to this meeting to honor the hosts who were to speak that day. As the weekend approached, there was a conflict that came up for that Sunday. But I kept my peace in God, and was confident He would work things out.
Friday, I called a local pastor for some information that resolved the conflict. I mentioned the meetings, and that I wasn’t sure if I was going Saturday or Sunday. He asked to pray with me for clarity. I didn’t feel any need for him to pray, but he was being nice, so I said, “Yes”, and he prayed. It was a generic prayer that asked God to give clarity and direction. I thanked him and hung up.
Something Is Wrong
Saturday, my sense of God’s presence was gone. I tried to rest in God but he was nowhere to be found. I felt as if I had tunnel vision and was in a spiritual stupor. All day as I went about business I sought God for clarity and direction but the unction and fire of God was missing. The day passed and I didn’t go to the meetings because I had no unction to do so. I decided to go Sunday since the day had gone by and I found no peace.
I got up Sunday to the same thing. On the two hour journey I began to fight for my rest in God. I was unable to find it and became frustrated, wondering what was wrong. The thought then came to me that the problem was the pastor’s prayer. I prayed, breaking off and rejecting the prayer said over me.
Suddenly peace and rest from the presence of God overtook me, and the literal feeling of tunnel vision left as my spiritual perception returned. I went to the meetings, was blessed greatly, and was asked to give the word, which I had told no one I had.
So what was that?
The Lord revealed to me over the next few days what had happened. It was not witchcraft from the pastor. It was not demonic oppression trying to keep me from giving a word. God was not mad at me or withholding Himself from me.
It was a simple principle called dependency. I had accepted a prayer for me for something I already had established in my life; the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit. In effect I had turned from the inner peace and rest of the Lord in my own spirit. I turned to a man to receive what he had to offer in its place. I cut the cord with the Lord and handed it to a man. (Sounds like one of those dismal country songs lamenting the destruction of a relationship)
Babies are dependent, Not adults
When I was a baby I was dependent upon others to teach me, feed me, protect me, and correct my mistakes; in order that I might learn how to become a full functioning human being. A prayer for clarity might be appropriate for an immature believer who has not learned to “hear” the voice of the Spirit. But when a believer grows they no longer need someone to keep propping them up and giving them direction unless they have been taught to get direction from a man instead of the Lord.
Current Pastoral leadership-Spiritual Dependency
I experienced a very similar experience when the Lord told me to go to the wilderness. The very next day I quit worship leading, jail ministry, intercessory group, etc.
Most importantly I came out from the inappropriate subjection to a pastor. That pastoral tie being severed was like a fresh breeze from heaven. The level of revelation and vision I received after that was like waking from a dream. In my opinion, current pastoral leadership models are at best inappropriate and stunting, and at worst controlling and slavery.
Feeling like you are looking through a tunnel and have little peace? How about tying a cord to the Lord and cutting it from a man?
KRISTON COUCHEY
A Spiritual Experience
I was asked by a friend to come to a weekend Christian gathering she and her husband were hosting in Central Minnesota. I was not a speaker at the meetings, but the Lord gave me a word for it. I felt Sunday would be the day to go to this meeting to honor the hosts who were to speak that day. As the weekend approached, there was a conflict that came up for that Sunday. But I kept my peace in God, and was confident He would work things out.
Friday, I called a local pastor for some information that resolved the conflict. I mentioned the meetings, and that I wasn’t sure if I was going Saturday or Sunday. He asked to pray with me for clarity. I didn’t feel any need for him to pray, but he was being nice, so I said, “Yes”, and he prayed. It was a generic prayer that asked God to give clarity and direction. I thanked him and hung up.
Something Is Wrong
Saturday, my sense of God’s presence was gone. I tried to rest in God but he was nowhere to be found. I felt as if I had tunnel vision and was in a spiritual stupor. All day as I went about business I sought God for clarity and direction but the unction and fire of God was missing. The day passed and I didn’t go to the meetings because I had no unction to do so. I decided to go Sunday since the day had gone by and I found no peace.
I got up Sunday to the same thing. On the two hour journey I began to fight for my rest in God. I was unable to find it and became frustrated, wondering what was wrong. The thought then came to me that the problem was the pastor’s prayer. I prayed, breaking off and rejecting the prayer said over me.
Suddenly peace and rest from the presence of God overtook me, and the literal feeling of tunnel vision left as my spiritual perception returned. I went to the meetings, was blessed greatly, and was asked to give the word, which I had told no one I had.
So what was that?
The Lord revealed to me over the next few days what had happened. It was not witchcraft from the pastor. It was not demonic oppression trying to keep me from giving a word. God was not mad at me or withholding Himself from me.
It was a simple principle called dependency. I had accepted a prayer for me for something I already had established in my life; the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit. In effect I had turned from the inner peace and rest of the Lord in my own spirit. I turned to a man to receive what he had to offer in its place. I cut the cord with the Lord and handed it to a man. (Sounds like one of those dismal country songs lamenting the destruction of a relationship)
Babies are dependent, Not adults
When I was a baby I was dependent upon others to teach me, feed me, protect me, and correct my mistakes; in order that I might learn how to become a full functioning human being. A prayer for clarity might be appropriate for an immature believer who has not learned to “hear” the voice of the Spirit. But when a believer grows they no longer need someone to keep propping them up and giving them direction unless they have been taught to get direction from a man instead of the Lord.
Current Pastoral leadership-Spiritual Dependency
I experienced a very similar experience when the Lord told me to go to the wilderness. The very next day I quit worship leading, jail ministry, intercessory group, etc.
Most importantly I came out from the inappropriate subjection to a pastor. That pastoral tie being severed was like a fresh breeze from heaven. The level of revelation and vision I received after that was like waking from a dream. In my opinion, current pastoral leadership models are at best inappropriate and stunting, and at worst controlling and slavery.
Feeling like you are looking through a tunnel and have little peace? How about tying a cord to the Lord and cutting it from a man?
KRISTON COUCHEY
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